**Who is the phantom farter?**

Reporters waiting for President Volodymyr Zelenskyy in the European Council press briefing room have repeatedly been forced to deal with a fetid farter in their midst.

It isn’t the first time either, with several journalists (including this correspondent) forced to flee a diplomatic briefing last night after an eye-watering emission.

Everyone is running on nothing but coffee and the fear of missing out on a briefing, so we suppose it is to be expected. Still, one can’t help but wish the mystery malodorer would take themselves outside and sort it out before people pass out.

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